After hitting the salsa clubs , dance parties, and dance competitions for many years, I have definitely learned a few things about manners or etiquette on the dance floor.
What are Good Manners or Etiquette When Dancing Salsa? These are skills that will enable you to be an extremely fun partner to dance with. These are things that usually take experience and a natural sense of social ability. For some people it may seem like common sense but unless you are already a dancer, there are for sure some things that we just don’t think about. Why not get ahead of the game and become the “fun” salsa dance partner everyone loves to dance with?
Salsa Dance Etiquette, Whats The Point?
Well, the fact is, at the end of the day, we would like people to dance with us. I would have to say that is number one. The salsa community in any given city is actually fairly small. So its important to make a good impression.
The people you see out dancing in the salsa clubs are people that you will more than likely see again. I would say that it is best to keep that in mind. If you start off on the right foot, (no pun intended!) it will make fitting in much easier, and then socializing will be easy as pie.
Taking the time to find out what etiquette you need on the dance floor just shows that your an awesome person and have great intentions. So, congrats to you! I hope I can shed some light on the expectations that others have on the dance floor and also help you become the partner that everyone wants to dance with.
Its Time To Compliment, Not Criticize
So I gotta be honest, this one is very difficult for me. Being a dance instructor, I truly struggle with trying not to teach or give pointers while I am dancing. But , it is a definite NO NO on the dance floor.
When out social dancing, we and everyone else is just trying to have a great time with showing off their skills. The last thing we want is someone critiquing our dance. This is the time to compliment your partners dance and try really hard to keep the pointers or criticisms to yourself.
Keep it for another day or time when it is in the right context. And by that I mean the dance studio or If you and your partner are practicing and trying to improve your dance. Again, your partner is out showing off and trying to be sexy and they really want to be acknowledged for their dance skills.
So don’t give pointers, just compliment! I guarantee that the person dancing with you will just be annoyed by you giving pointers, especially when you are in a club and they can barely hear what you are saying anyways.
I Want To Dance! Not Teach!
When you are at the club it is not the time to ask for dance instruction. Its just not. Most of the social community that you run into probably spend plenty of time working on their dance and/or teaching others how to dance. Being at a salsa club is their time to get away from the lessons and teaching.
When they are at the club, they just want to show off their skills and have fun. Most do not have any interest in teaching their skills to anyone at a salsa club. Asking about lessons at a future date is totally different. Most dancers will welcome inquiries like that and find it as a compliment.
So feel free to set up some dance lessons while you are socializing and of course, handing out those compliments!
Be A Gentle Dance Partner
Gentlemen, we need to be gentle with our partners. Sometimes we can get a little strong with our leading and that is usually caused by leading our partner into moves that they are not prepared for, or have not yet been primed for.
It is important that when you first ask someone to dance that you keep your patterns fairly simple until you both start to feel comfortable. Then slowly start to add more advanced patterns, just a little bit at a time, like your testing the water with your toe to see if its cold. Just a tiny little bit at a time and slowly build up.
Ladies, believe it or not, you can get a little rough too. Try not too pull on your partner and be what is called a heavy follow. Let your partner lead you around. If you are dancing the right way it should feel very gentle and light.
So its important to be mindful of the connection you have with your partner. Sometimes we can hang on a little too tight. And this is especially true for beginner dancers.
Take notice of the grip that you have on your partners hand and make sure it is not too tight. This can be very uncomfortable. And I say this more for the guys, sometimes we don’t realize how hard we are holding on to our partners hand. Just keep it in mind.
Communication
Make sure and communicate with your partner if you are not feeling comfortable with something.
Usually the dance community is so polite and most do not want to hurt your feelings by telling you that they are somewhat uncomfortable with some of your dance patterns or maybe you are holding them in the wrong way that is uncomfortable.
Tell your partner what is uncomfortable, In the most polite way as possible of course. This way when they dance with someone else, maybe they will fix what they are doing instead of sharing that uncomfortable hold or pattern with someone else.
Its always good to communicate but do it in a constructive polite way. I’m sure they will be grateful.
Keep It Friendly
Guys, I know its hard sometimes but its not a good idea to be putting your hands in places that is going to offend your partner. Pride yourself on being a gentleman. Most of the ladies out there dancing are there for dancing and not hooking up.
If you came to the salsa club with a “hooking up” kind of mind set, the ladies will spread the word. I’m not joking! Every girl in there will know exactly what your are looking for and they will be on guard.
They spread the word fast! I don’t know if you are familiar with Star Trek but these ladies will turn into something like the Borg! There minds are all connected!
Keep in mind, that most of them will know each other. So your best bet is be an awesome gentleman and let them spread a good word about you rather than the bad word. If your intentions are to go out and have some fun with salsa dancing , then you will be in the right mindset to meet some amazing ladies that love to dance!
Guys, when you dance with a new lady, its best not to dance too close. Stay at a conservative and friendly distance until you get to know them. When they feel comfortable dancing close, I guarantee they will eventually let you know.
Trying to dance too close to them can be a real turn off and there may not be any future dances with them. Same goes with flirting. Keep this to a extreme minimum.
Most of the ladies out dancing are there for the sake of dancing. They want to dance in a non threatening environment and not feel like they are always being stalked as prey. This is especially true at a salsa venue.
Just remember, they are there to dance, not to hook up. Just be their awesome dance friend and if there is any chemistry it will happen in a natural way and without it being forced.
Leaders
Its very important to pride yourself on being a good leader. This is one of my main goals when I go out to a salsa club. I try to dance with as many women as I can and challenge myself to lead them in the most comfortable, graceful way as possible.
This is my priority, and crazy dance moves is my last priority. If me and my partner happen to mesh well and I slowly build up to some aggressive moves, then great. But, I look at that as a bonus and something I work up to. I always work on gaining trust from my partner first, and then go from there.
When dancing with a partner that you have never danced with before, it is best to start with very basic patterns. There is no way of knowing ahead of time what this partner is capable of dancing as far as complex patterns.
If you lead a beginner into complex moves right away, you will just make them feel very uncomfortable. If you are actually a good leader, you will take the time to figure out how advanced of a dancer they are.
This is easily done. Lead them through basic patterns and slowly build on those patterns with more complex moves. You should do this slowly. It does not take long to do this. I can take a lady from not knowing her, to knowing exactly her skill level by the middle of the song and be leading very complex patterns by the end of the song.
If you are a skilled leader, this will not be a problem for you. But to take a beginner and throw a whole bunch of stuff at her, will only make her feel extremely uncomfortable and it will not make you look good at all.
It will be obvious to anyone watching what is actually going on. Its always best to make the lady feel as comfortable as possible giving her a very enjoyable experience to dance with you. This should always be your goal as a leader.
This strategy is guaranteed to get you a lot more dances and a lot less women avoiding you when you come a calling!
Followers
Ladies, this one is for you. I know this is tough but its something that you need to master, and that is learning on how not to back lead. Now believe me, I totally understand that if you are a beginner its tough to actually learn this. But over time and with lots of practice you will totally get it.
Guys love dancing with a girl that is totally receptive to his lead. He will be seeking you out every time he goes to the club because you will be providing him the opportunity to show off his skills.
Being a great follow is exactly that, being a great follow! This is something to pride yourself on and is extremely imperative for you to become an awesome social salsa dancer.
The leaders job is to think about everything that is going to happen next and the followers job is to allow him to execute everything that is going to happen next.
Guys have to be the paint brush and the ladies have to be the blank canvas. Together you have one hell of a beautiful painting!
Ladies, following is just as hard as leading. It is a true art to be able to let yourself be truly led around the floor. This takes trust, but it also takes giving a little trust in small increments to your partner. You must give him a chance and allow your self to feel his lead.
I know, its very hard not to anticipate what is coming next but this will hinder the connection between you and your partner and will show as a lost connection. Being able to truly follow is a serious skill and if you can master this, it will show in your dancing. Even if the lead that is given to you lacks skill, you should be able to take that lead and polish it up in an amazing way.
This is something that takes time to master, but when you do , you will not always feel like you are at the mercy of the lead that asks you to dance. You will take his lead in full, and make it look phenomenal. This is the power that you followers have, and its amazing to see it in action.
Just Look Like You Are Having Fun
There’s been plenty of times when I am dancing with someone that I am not enjoying dancing with, but I always have a big smile on my face. Its important that the person knows that you enjoy dancing with them even though you may not. This is common courtesy and this way of thinking will always payoff in the long run.
I have taught hundreds of students, and in the beginning they may not allow me to show off my skills, but eventually they learn more and more and get better and better. Once they do, you will wish you did not blow them off when they were a beginner.
And here’s the honest truth, you will learn way more about leading by dancing with all skill levels of dancers rather than sticking with only the skilled ones. Anyone can lead around a skilled dancer, but not everyone can lead around a beginner and make her look good.
When you can do that, then you are becoming a skilled leader. So remember, its those unskilled dancers that will be your best teachers. Be nice to them and encourage their dance, because eventually they will knock your socks off!
Connection Is Everything
Connection is huge! Its so boring to dance with someone that is so caught up in doing the crazy moves, that its almost like they aren’t even there. Connect with your partner and make eye contact with them.
The best dancers to watch are the ones that have a real connection, not only through the connection of dance, but with their eyes, facial expressions, and overall energy they put off towards their partner. This is something that can only happen by being present in the dance with that person that you are dancing with.
Connect with them through your eyes and facial expressions. Be genuine, and actually dance with them, and not just next to them. This connection pays off way more than complex patterns.
Partners that connect on the dance floor will draw much more of an audience than the couple that dances complex salsa patterns with no connection.
Dancing without connection, is like cake without frosting! I don’t know about you, but I like me some frosting!
Make some eye contact folks!
Your Partner Is Your Responsibility
Know where your partner is at all times, and be aware of their surroundings. You are not just responsible for your own, you are also responsible for your partners.
You should pay attention to your partner and don’t be too caught up with everyone else around you. Unless of course, it is for the purpose of navigating the floor in a safe manner.
Leaders, this is way more important for you than for the followers. You have to take special care of the followers and navigate the floor very cautiously, and that is why your attention needs to be on her.
Not only that, it will just make a much better experience for her when dancing with you. You need to take special care of your partner. She is depending on you.
On that note, followers, you need to be aware of your own space, as well as the leaders space. There are times that things come up in the leaders surroundings that he is not aware of. So you too need to pay attention to your partner.
It all just comes down to dancing with each other, and not getting distracted by surroundings that do not help with navigation around the dance floor.
It is also very important to know where you are placing your feet. And gentlemen, its even more important to know where your partners feet are landing. These shoes that these ladies have on usually have an insane heel, and those heels can do some serious damage to the people dancing in your vicinity.
This goes back to knowing your surroundings and anticipating everything around you as a leader. This is why it is so important for you to take things slow at first so that you can get to know your partner and their habits.
Ladies, you are not off the hook. You need to be aware of your feet and how far your letting them reach behind you. It is good practice to keep your feet under your weight and not reaching too far back from your center.
As you become a more advanced dancer, this will make more sense. Just be aware of your feet and the people behind you.
Don’t Be A Floor Hog
I’m sure everyone who has went salsa dancing has experienced this. There’s always that one couple who takes up the whole floor. Its like they dance like no one else is there. Every time they get on the floor, doesn’t matter how crowded it is, they manage to create this big pocket for themselves to dance in.
This drives me crazy! This is not very courteous and quite annoying to the other dancers on the floor. There are times when you can own the floor and this is done prior to everyone being on the floor, and then claiming some of that real estate.
Its alright to go out and show off and own the floor a bit, but when you are taking dance space away from people and forcing a big pocket for you and your partner, that is just not cool.
If you want to utilize a lot of space on the dance floor, do it when the space is available. Do it when the floor is slightly scarce of a lot of dancers. Theses opportunities always come up throughout the night and you have to take full advantage of them.
But don’t just force people out of your way by dancing huge and not being mindful of the other dancers.
Keep the arm styling to a minimum. When you are on a crowded dance floor it is way to easy to accidentally hit someone up side their head. Its best to keep your arm styling very conservative and when there is some space and a opportunity, feel free to utilize it with your amazing styling.
Besides, arm styling always looks better when it is not over done. Always remember to use contrast in your dancing. It will make it look so much better.
Own Up To Your Mistakes
This will happen often. It is just part of dancing in a club and it happens all the time. The key to this is to be courteous and apologize when you accidentally bump into someone. Its going to happen and that is ok. But just recognize your error in dance space and acknowledge that you are sorry for the bump.
If you find that you are bumping into a lot of people, than that means something has to change in your dance floor navigation. You should be able to dance just fine on a crowded floor with minimum incidences of collisions with other dancers.
If you are a beginner salsa dancer this can be very challenging, but over time you will learn the art of navigating crowded floors.
Don’t Be Crazy
Which brings me to the patterns you choose to do on a crowded floor. When the floor is crowded you need to pick your patterns wisely. You are not only avoiding collisions for yourself, but you are also trying to avoid your partner from colliding into other people. So keep your patterns a little more toned down, small, and compact.
When you find an opening, maybe you can branch into something more aggressive at the moment, but do so cautiously. Trying to execute crazy salsa moves on the floor is very risky and needs to be done in a very calculated way.
Again, this is something that takes time as a dancer to learn, but you will get better at it. When in doubt, keep it small and compact. If you are doing big moves and start bumping into people, they will start to get aggravated, and rightfully so. Always error on the side of caution.
Be very cautious if you decide to dip your partner. For the most part, I usually refrain from this on a crowded dance floor. Its not worth taking a chance on hurting your partner and them hitting their head on someone or something. If you do hurt your partner you will feel like a complete jerk.
Don’t kid yourself, these accidents do actually happen on dance floors at clubs. So, myself, unless I am completely sure I can pull it off in a safe way, there will be no dipping for me.
Another reason I keep my dancing on a conservative level, or at least at a very cautious level, is because of the drinking aspect. I am usually drinking and so is everyone else around me. As you know, drinking can definitely impair your judgment and motor skills. So if you do decide to pull off some risky , aggressive moves, do it with extreme caution.
And keep in mind that you may dance just fine while you are drinking, but you cant control the other drinking people around you. These drunk people can be pretty unpredictable at times!
End On A Good Note
So gentlemen, this is mainly for you! When you finish a dance with a lady, don’t just turn and run away from her. Make sure you escort her back to her friends or wherever you got her from. Let her know how great it was to dance with her and that you would love to dance with her again sometime.
You need to do this whether you liked dancing with her or not. Its called being a gentlemen and I think its great to pride yourself on that.
Again, the salsa community is very small and word travels fast. Let the word be something amazing about you and not something negative.
Taking that extra step will be very beneficial to your salsa social life!
Don’t Be Stinky
I figured I would just throw this in here, even though I think that it should be a given. Its pretty obvious that when you are dancing salsa with someone, you are dancing fairly close. Its very important that we keep our body odors to a minimum!
So yes, lets try to prepare a little bit and think about our personal hygiene. There is nothing worse than dancing with someone and you are afraid to breath!
Does it happen? Yes, it actually does! This is a phenomenon that I just don’t get and don’t understand how some people just don’t seem to know any better.
When you go out to dance salsa for the night, make sure you are smelling extra nice for those people you plan on dancing with. Believe me, they will truly appreciate it!
Final Thoughts
So I definitely covered quite a bit in the context of etiquette for the salsa dance floor. One last thing for you though, at the end of the day, it is about dancing, and you need to dance with as many different partners as you can.
I would say this is the most important thing you can do to have an amazing experience salsa dancing. When I go out to a salsa club, I try to ask as many ladies to dance as possible. I want to get to know everyone and I like to challenge myself to lead a whole bunch of different ladies.
This will increase your skill and will expand your social life. I definitely recommend that you do this.
And ladies, don’t be afraid to ask the guys to dance, most will be extremely happy you did. Same with getting asked to dance. Just go out and dance with that person. Get to know someone new. This can only be beneficial to your dancing skills and again it will improve your social life. Its a win win situation!
See you all at the club!
I will be asking you for a dance, soon!